11 pm Makati City, Philippines
Mood: Ornery and ready to fight a burglar with a rolling pin just to de-stress!
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Hell and damnation..Fire and Brimstone, Roses and Prickly Thorns.
I am torn between elation and despair.!!
Ok, so its partially my fault….ok, its all my fault. So what? Doesn’t solve the dilemna.
But still…. *wails* I thought a trip to the US won’t push thru because of cost-cutting from our company and some other stuff. I was thinking our team meeting also would not push through..so when my boss said last August that I was to cross my fingers so that if ever, F2F meeting or not, I could still go to the US this November 2008 for some other matters, I certainly didn’t cross my fingers…I wanted the trip to be next year…next year!…Lady Fate and Lady Destiny, do you hear me?? Listen to me!
Why? don’t ask..I won’t tell, suffice to say I feel I am not ready…double drat and triple drat!
I have less than a month to prepare for something which usually takes 4 months! I wasn’t interested in pursuing it anymore, I thought I could try other interests, and basically I thought even if I got the chance, in the long run in my current company its not as if it translates to big bucks. Why oh why did I get a call which would send other people into a swoon..of happiness but weirdly makes me want to drown myself in a bucket of brandy?
In my case, although I try to think positively, it only means I will now have 2 hours of sleep everyday if ever I hope catch up to compensate for my lack of preparedness and time…and there are so many other things I have to do too…*sobs* and its not even sure…and I have to do it all by myself…*sigh*
Can somebody find me my twin? clone me perhaps? provide me with another brain? and extra hands too while you are at it….
Sorry, I just needed to vent…
I don’t feel like writing this down in my diary because I am growling and I am hungry and I feel like writing it down straight here with my fingers flying over the keyboard will lessen the stress. So there…call me an ungrateful child/spoiled woman/impetuous person..but by writing it here, I’m half-hoping something else will come up and maudlot yung trip (I’m a believer in that kind of thing).
Oh well, let me eat dinner and sleep on it. Maybe tomorrow things will look better even if it means a deduction of 24 hours again on my time to prepare.
After all, tomorrow is another day. And no I will not ever speak of it again. I just need to concentrate on how to get it done. So there.
– Oct 9, ’08 11:00 PM
The Curious Cat 